The You of Your Understanding

Have you ever asked yourself what exactly makes you…you? I ask myself this kinda high ass sht all the time. Probably because I have a lot of deep insecurities that were planted in childhood that now have sprouted and grown into big ass weeds that I can’t seem to pluck out of my garden. All my life, my identity has been the biggest thorn in my ass. Hell, I’m 45 and still can’t tell you who I am. A veteran? A father? A husband? A Black man? A Puerto Rican man? Middle-Class? But the kicker is ALL of us have this problem. We just have a sht ton of different ways we sort it out.

For me, as I get deeper into my spiritual journey, I’m recognizing that consciousness and awareness aren’t exactly the same damn thing. And if I’m being real witchu, I am still trying to sort it out my damn self. But my general understanding is that one versus the other is sort of like when you live an experience versus your memory of that experience. In that sense, awareness is being present and consciousness is your interpretation of it. Sometimes, they go hand in hand — but other times, they don’t have a gawd damn thing to do with the other. My point is that the “You” of your understanding is created by your collective experiences and your consciousness of those experiences. Therefore, no two people would ever be the same. Not even fcking twins, dawg.