I Think I Might Be Gay

For as long as I can remember, I’ve liked girls. In fact, I remember the very first girl I ever had a crush on. She was an Asian girl named Dawn who absolutely, positively had no idea I existed outside of the fact that my younger sister and brother would embarrass the living shit out of me and scream that I liked her every time they saw her.

She would smile and blush. But nothing ever happened between us. There was just 4th-grade puppy lust that weighed on us even if we didn’t even know what sex or sexual attraction really meant at our age.

My first girlfriend came about a few years later.

Before I even knew her name, she was asking me to “go with her “— which was pretty standard for junior high school dating in the 90s. And without really fully understanding what that meant, I agreed to “go with her” and started to get to know my new girlfriend while slowly walking together in the park. Come to find out, her name was Sabrina. And as quickly as our little relationship began, it ended.

She had spent our entire week together as boyfriend and girlfriend trying to get me to kiss her and have sex with her because her friend and my friend lost their virginity to each other, so she was curious about it. But I completely missed her sexual cues. As a result, she ended our short-ass courtship so that she could move on and be a fast tail…